{DISCUSSION} Are your boobs too sexy?!

Busty ladies, we have an important question that we’d like you to ask yourself. With complete honesty, have you ever felt like having a fuller bust has made it challenging for you to show up in the world? We mean that both literally and figuratively. 

MARVELL LANE is initiating a conversation that should have happened a long time ago. We want to shine light on the fact that there are issues of discrimination that busty women face in society, purely because of their bust size.

In this IGTV episode Rachael and Hollie sit down to chat one busty woman to another. The discussion explores the notion of ‘too muchness’, which in this context refers to two things. 

• Firstly, to the reaction that a person (man or woman) has about the presentation of a full busted woman. For example thinking that a woman is ‘too much’ because their bust draws attention.
• It also refers to the internal feeling of shame that a busty woman feels when she received or assumes she will receive judgement from society regarding how she decides to present her bust.
• Both the reaction and the feeling have the capacity to become engrained on a subconscious level. 
• 'Too much' could also be interchanged with 'too sexy','too provocative','too sexual' or 'too over the top'.

The perspective explored here is the untold voice of busty women. The painful reality is that the choices a busty woman makes regarding her presentation are dictated by messages that have been filtered through society about what is and what is not deemed appropriate for full busts. 

A message that we would like to flag is that the issue actually has nothing to do with bust size. The issue is the layers of pervasive messaging around the over-sexualisation of big breasts. Busty ladies, you are not the problem. You have not been gifted (yes, gifted) with a glorious bust so that it can be locked away never to be seen. 

Rachael and Hollie share their personal experiences of this direct and also in-direct bust shaming, and what they realise is that so much of it has come from other women. They explain how Internalised misogyny is evident through very common examples of unconscious behaviour. An example would be making snap judgements about a woman’s intentions because of their bust appearance. Another example would be when women become insecure or nasty because of the way another woman has chosen to display their bust in public. This behaviour is an example of reactionary in-direct shaming that has been influenced and heavily dictated by patriarchal conditions. 

Who wins in this situation? The busty woman feels horrible and the other women also feel like rubbish. This conversation is a beautiful wake up call, for all of us. Whether you're a B cup or a FF cup, women need to come together and support one another and a huge part of this is having awareness of when we are projecting negative and subconscious feelings towards other women.

Another big piece of this puzzle is having awareness of the words that we speak to ourselves. It’s important to start a practice of deeply questioning where those thoughts have come from. Do I really believe that I am ‘too much’? Is this thought our own? Why am I truly hiding? How do I actually want to present? And what is stopping me from doing so?

Rach and Hollie deep dive into all of these issues and more! Head to this IGTV to watch the full conversation and share your busty experience.